- ii justt needd somee timee. *

i want to dance beside a frozen lake :: where the snowflakes gently fall from the sky :: the hair swaying in the chilly wind :: as the still moments of the winter everning :: is enlightened by me ::

My Contradictions.

- SEVENTEEN yet EIGHTEEN.
- SOPHISTICATED yet SIMPLE.
- WILD yet TAME.
- CRAZY yet NORMAL.
- BITCHY yet KIND.
- SLUTTISH yet DEMURE.
- FRANK yet SHY.
- CHILDISH yet MATURE.
- DEVILISH yet ANGELIC.
- NARCISSISTIC yet SELFLESS.
- CONFUSED yet SURE.
- FICKLE yet CONSISTENT.
- SELFISH yet GIVING.
- FIERCE yet GENTLE.
- ANNOYING yet LOVABLE.
- HEARTLESS yet SENTIMENTAL.
- SCHEMING yet NAIVE.
- LAZY yet HARDWORKING.
- RETARDED yet INTELLIGENT.
- IGNORANT yet KNOWLEDGEABLE.
- UNFEELING yet CARING.
- SLOPPY yet TIDY.
- IMAGINATIVE yet REALISTIC.
- PESSIMISTIC yet OPTIMISTIC.
- INTROVERTED yet EXTROVERTED.

My Loves.

- ME.MYSELF.I.
- MONEY.
- COMPUTER.
- HAND PHONE.
- CAMERA.
- CHILDREN.
- MIRRORS.
- MAKE UP.
- BITCHING.
- GOSSIPING.
- CRITICIZING.
- SLACKING.

My Hates.

- BEING BROKE.
- BEING SCOLDED.
- BEING BACKSTABBED.
- EMPTY VESSELS.
- HYPOCRITES.
- REPEAT OFFENDERS.
- COMPUTER BREAKDOWN.

My Tagboard.

My Archives.

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

My Links.

-=| Alvin. |=-

-=| Amanda. |=-

-=| Blogger. |=-

-=| Brenda. |=-

-=| Chuan Ru. |=-

-=| Claudia. |=-

-=| Darren. |=-

-=| Desmond. |=-

-=| Eleanna. |=-

-=| Eugene. |=-

-=| Fatin. |=-

-=| Fiona. |=-

-=| Gabriel. |=-

-=| Hazwan. |=-

-=| Huang Zhi. |=-

-=| Jasmine. |=-

-=| Jessica. |=-

-=| Jiaxin. |=-

-=| Jieying. |=-

-=| Joni. |=-

-=| Joyee. |=-

-=| Kenneth. |=-

-=| Phyllis. |=-

-=| Rhoda. |=-

-=| Rosalind. |=-

-=| Saky. |=-

-=| Shahidatul. |=-

-=| Siti Adawiyah. |=-

-=| Steph. |=-

-=| Steven. |=-

-=| Wan Juan. |=-

-=| Weng Lum. |=-

-=| Xia Xue. |=-

-=| Yvonne. |=-

I Love You.

We never really noticed each other.
Or at least I never noticed you.
But now you are my fantasy.
My wonderful dream come true.

Your eyes met mine.
And mine met yours.
The story of Sleeping Beauty.
Riding on a horse.

Often I think of you.
And wonder if you think of me.
I just want to be there with you.
Through times of thick and thin.

Many a time I neglected you.
But you never seem to mind.
You're one in a million.
Once in a lifetime.

When you smile.
It's the greatest prize.
I'm in heaven.
I'm in paradise.

When I close my eyes.
I see your face.
The touch of your hands.
And the way you embrace.

If I'm in trouble.
All I need to do is call.
Cause I know you'll be there for me.
I know you'll catch me if I fall.

You shine like a lighthouse.
And you showed me the light.
And then I see that life.
Is not only black and white.

I believe in love.
The everlasting kind.
But true love and lust.
Are separated by a mere thin line.

I love you for who you are.
For everything you say.
And no matter what happens.
You will never be replaced.

So now you know my feelings for you.
Is not like eating jam and toast.
Our fairytale is full of love.
It's called Amor Infinitus.

|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
c0pyyrighttedd ; [-gabrielle-]

click here to go to my new blog skin!!

Monday, June 20, 2005

when i'm faced with the question "will you abort your baby if you found out tt he/she will be abnormal?",my answer will be a very firm "yes,i will!"

then,very routinely,i will be preached by the future fathers and sisters tt surround me.i'm not allowed to answer or talk back.afterall,it's the whole world against me.

my point is,i dont want my child to suffer.

so what if i can provide my child with all the physical needs?!will my child be happy?i dont want my child to feel inferior to ANYONE.

i can feel for my child.in fact,for any human.it's not fair for anybody in this world to be impaired in any aspect.i'm not saying people should be born perfect.but i dun tink normal is too much to ask for.

yes.i am selfish.i admit.but i am the mother.which mother in this world does not fucking care for their kid?so wad if i brought my child into this world?i'm not great.i'm not weiida.but i'm ruining another life.

some children may grow up to be 'role models' to the world.but i believe tt deep within them,they are sad.if u have a huge birthmark on ur face u would feel embarrased right?who would u blame then?i dont tink tt u will be proud to show ur flaw.what abt those children?

yes u may seem happy,bubbly and cheerful.but when u're alone,are u?are u hu u portray urself to be?u might not care abt ur bad grades on the outside,but deep within,u are blaming urself."y am i so stupid?!"

if u're denying all these,den u r not true to urself.u just want to spite me.

money cannot buy everyting.i cannot buy my child's happiness.guilt is something tt cannot be resolved no matter what.inferiority is a 'sickness' that cannot be cured.

that is provided i have tons of money.'needs' is a bottomless pit.physical needs might be easy to fulfill,but emotional needs is impossible unless the world is with u.

i mean it's already diffcult enough trying to fulfill ur boiifren/gerrfren's emotional needs.and they are wad we deem as normal.think abt it.

'but it's a sin to kill a life' i somehow dont understand tt phrase.no i'm not stupid and unfeeling.if i'm selfish by killing my child,then those hu wana keep the kid are more selfish.

it's my sin tt i kill my child.yes,i noe tt.and i might not go to heaven but hell if i sin.i also noe tt.but still,i'd rather my child not suffer in this curel, inhumane world.

'killing my child sounds more inhumane' i'm not murdering my child for fun!!i noe it will pain my heart,even tear it apart.i'm not left with any choice if i want the best for my child.yes there might be a cure in future.but what if there isint?i dont want to take risks.

if my child does not have a limb,it might be replaced.but home is still the best right?using ur own flesh is better then using a machine.furthermore,my child will attract the piercing,heart-eating glares of passerbys.

comon.can u swear tt u will not look down on my kid or any 'abnormal' kid?are u sure tt u do not stare at deformed people disgustingly?will u offer a post for my kid in ur company?can u promise tt my child will not be abused or looked down upon?

i will die some day.and i want to die not feeling guilty tt i brought a life into this world to suffer.so what if i go to hell?i'm sacrificing myself for my flesh and blood.i'm not crazy?

i know tt i did not try.i dont want to take risks.i'm humjii.wadeva.lyk wad i said,if i have to brg a life to this world,i dont want my child to suffer.AT ALL.

i will rather go to hell,then bring out a life to suffer and go to heaven.

i'm sure my child WILL suffer.whether he/she's born with a sickness or deformed or retarded.i dont tink i need to elaborate hurhs?

to put it simply,sickness will cause my child physical pain.injections,medicine,treatment.if my child is deformed,he/she will be 'ugly'.i can embrace his/her flaws.can the world do tt?if no,dont let my child suffer their hurling abuse.and i dont want my child to feel stupid.dont u hate it when ur 'enemy' looks down on u because u failed a sub.when the express ppl look down on the normal techs?

dont lie.u're not deciving anyone.only urself.

but anw.CHOY CHOY CHOY!!!!! my child will not be inpaired.puii puii puii.*desperately tries to find wood.........*ah ha!*touch!!

Permalink.

IDreamtOfYouAt.

9:41 PM

[-THE.love*--] flows from your heart