- ii justt needd somee timee. *

i want to dance beside a frozen lake :: where the snowflakes gently fall from the sky :: the hair swaying in the chilly wind :: as the still moments of the winter everning :: is enlightened by me ::

My Contradictions.

- SEVENTEEN yet EIGHTEEN.
- SOPHISTICATED yet SIMPLE.
- WILD yet TAME.
- CRAZY yet NORMAL.
- BITCHY yet KIND.
- SLUTTISH yet DEMURE.
- FRANK yet SHY.
- CHILDISH yet MATURE.
- DEVILISH yet ANGELIC.
- NARCISSISTIC yet SELFLESS.
- CONFUSED yet SURE.
- FICKLE yet CONSISTENT.
- SELFISH yet GIVING.
- FIERCE yet GENTLE.
- ANNOYING yet LOVABLE.
- HEARTLESS yet SENTIMENTAL.
- SCHEMING yet NAIVE.
- LAZY yet HARDWORKING.
- RETARDED yet INTELLIGENT.
- IGNORANT yet KNOWLEDGEABLE.
- UNFEELING yet CARING.
- SLOPPY yet TIDY.
- IMAGINATIVE yet REALISTIC.
- PESSIMISTIC yet OPTIMISTIC.
- INTROVERTED yet EXTROVERTED.

My Loves.

- ME.MYSELF.I.
- MONEY.
- COMPUTER.
- HAND PHONE.
- CAMERA.
- CHILDREN.
- MIRRORS.
- MAKE UP.
- BITCHING.
- GOSSIPING.
- CRITICIZING.
- SLACKING.

My Hates.

- BEING BROKE.
- BEING SCOLDED.
- BEING BACKSTABBED.
- EMPTY VESSELS.
- HYPOCRITES.
- REPEAT OFFENDERS.
- COMPUTER BREAKDOWN.

My Tagboard.

My Archives.

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

My Links.

-=| Alvin. |=-

-=| Amanda. |=-

-=| Blogger. |=-

-=| Brenda. |=-

-=| Chuan Ru. |=-

-=| Claudia. |=-

-=| Darren. |=-

-=| Desmond. |=-

-=| Eleanna. |=-

-=| Eugene. |=-

-=| Fatin. |=-

-=| Fiona. |=-

-=| Gabriel. |=-

-=| Hazwan. |=-

-=| Huang Zhi. |=-

-=| Jasmine. |=-

-=| Jessica. |=-

-=| Jiaxin. |=-

-=| Jieying. |=-

-=| Joni. |=-

-=| Joyee. |=-

-=| Kenneth. |=-

-=| Phyllis. |=-

-=| Rhoda. |=-

-=| Rosalind. |=-

-=| Saky. |=-

-=| Shahidatul. |=-

-=| Siti Adawiyah. |=-

-=| Steph. |=-

-=| Steven. |=-

-=| Wan Juan. |=-

-=| Weng Lum. |=-

-=| Xia Xue. |=-

-=| Yvonne. |=-

I Love You.

We never really noticed each other.
Or at least I never noticed you.
But now you are my fantasy.
My wonderful dream come true.

Your eyes met mine.
And mine met yours.
The story of Sleeping Beauty.
Riding on a horse.

Often I think of you.
And wonder if you think of me.
I just want to be there with you.
Through times of thick and thin.

Many a time I neglected you.
But you never seem to mind.
You're one in a million.
Once in a lifetime.

When you smile.
It's the greatest prize.
I'm in heaven.
I'm in paradise.

When I close my eyes.
I see your face.
The touch of your hands.
And the way you embrace.

If I'm in trouble.
All I need to do is call.
Cause I know you'll be there for me.
I know you'll catch me if I fall.

You shine like a lighthouse.
And you showed me the light.
And then I see that life.
Is not only black and white.

I believe in love.
The everlasting kind.
But true love and lust.
Are separated by a mere thin line.

I love you for who you are.
For everything you say.
And no matter what happens.
You will never be replaced.

So now you know my feelings for you.
Is not like eating jam and toast.
Our fairytale is full of love.
It's called Amor Infinitus.

|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
c0pyyrighttedd ; [-gabrielle-]

click here to go to my new blog skin!!

Thursday, December 15, 2005

all men are jerks.

i knew i wasnt wrg from the start.i was so sure,i treated all men,boiis,males lyk SHIT.pure shit.i didnt care how i offended them.i dont even bother to look back n see how i've hurt some of them.it doesnt matter to me.cuz all men r jerks.worthless junk tt will b discarded after reproduction.

but after i met him,tings changed.i hated him.i was sure.he was as irritating as anything in the world.msging me everyday,asking to meet me after sch,after dance.some would say perseverence paid off.i guess so.

life was kinda sweet after tt.although he's not exactly rich,we managed to go to places tt werent expensive.more n more ppl knew abt us.some saying we look alike,asking if he was my brother.we had quarrels,fights,tears.going thru the fear of my parents finding out tgr.

soon after,i told my mum.not only did she not scold me,she approved of it.she even met him.we were delighted.we went for dinner when my dad was overseas.she allowed me to meet his parents.we thought this would last.

then my dad knew.days passed and he came over to my place during the renovations.he even helped to do up some of the extra tings lyk marking out the hole to drill,cleaning the dust off furniture.it was lyk a dream come true.

dinner tgr became a normal ting soon.he would come over and sit ard while my mum cook.he became more of a brother.he came over more n more often and stayed for long hours.we went to work together.did almost everyting tgr.

we got closer n closer.my parents found it too close.we had a talk ytd nite.i'm thankful for it though.although we're still tgr,i've learnt tt mayb i shouldnt give it my all.because ytd nite was a valuable nite.it showed many colours.

i will continue to hate men.even though i stopped for a period of tyme.the hate has come back.he's acting lyk my biological father.i hate him.i hate men lyk him.if a man loves u,he will be all out to protect.even to the point of shame,death.

but no.i took the blame.i'm sure i gave my all.did he?i dont know.i went thru hunger,pain,torture ytd.i did it to myself.no one bothered.no one is worth my love.no one.

i am sad.but not heartbroken.i expected sth lyk this.but never to the point of having a guy with the exact same character as my biological father.i will not allow myself to be tortured again.never.

i didnt recieve any msges today.not even a 'good morning'.y are all women so stupid?always pinning for tings tt wont come true.i dont understand.but i cant control myself.i am stupid.but i wont be anymore.i will be firm.nth will shake me now.not even him.not anymore.he used to change me.i will never pour a cup of water for anyone.but he made me change.

i guess i was too stupid to give in to everyting.i was too stupid to even try n protect him.i offended my mother for letting him walk home late at nite.i pushed the blame to myself.wad did he do?say tt its fair.

its not a misunderstanding.i heard it with my own ears.

i'm thankful i never promised anyting.several tymes he asked me never to leave him.i never replied.to put it in a nicer way,i'm not bounded by anyting.i'm stupid,but i'm still alert.

to make me love him agn is impossible.unless a huge change is seen.which i doubt will happen.i seriously doubt it.dont promise me.its all empty.

if u read this,think for urself.do u realli love me?if u dont,please set us free.i'm tired.verii tired.

Permalink.

IDreamtOfYouAt.

3:25 AM

[-THE.love*--] flows from your heart