- ii justt needd somee timee. *

i want to dance beside a frozen lake :: where the snowflakes gently fall from the sky :: the hair swaying in the chilly wind :: as the still moments of the winter everning :: is enlightened by me ::

My Contradictions.

- SEVENTEEN yet EIGHTEEN.
- SOPHISTICATED yet SIMPLE.
- WILD yet TAME.
- CRAZY yet NORMAL.
- BITCHY yet KIND.
- SLUTTISH yet DEMURE.
- FRANK yet SHY.
- CHILDISH yet MATURE.
- DEVILISH yet ANGELIC.
- NARCISSISTIC yet SELFLESS.
- CONFUSED yet SURE.
- FICKLE yet CONSISTENT.
- SELFISH yet GIVING.
- FIERCE yet GENTLE.
- ANNOYING yet LOVABLE.
- HEARTLESS yet SENTIMENTAL.
- SCHEMING yet NAIVE.
- LAZY yet HARDWORKING.
- RETARDED yet INTELLIGENT.
- IGNORANT yet KNOWLEDGEABLE.
- UNFEELING yet CARING.
- SLOPPY yet TIDY.
- IMAGINATIVE yet REALISTIC.
- PESSIMISTIC yet OPTIMISTIC.
- INTROVERTED yet EXTROVERTED.

My Loves.

- ME.MYSELF.I.
- MONEY.
- COMPUTER.
- HAND PHONE.
- CAMERA.
- CHILDREN.
- MIRRORS.
- MAKE UP.
- BITCHING.
- GOSSIPING.
- CRITICIZING.
- SLACKING.

My Hates.

- BEING BROKE.
- BEING SCOLDED.
- BEING BACKSTABBED.
- EMPTY VESSELS.
- HYPOCRITES.
- REPEAT OFFENDERS.
- COMPUTER BREAKDOWN.

My Tagboard.

My Archives.

March 2005

April 2005

May 2005

June 2005

July 2005

August 2005

September 2005

October 2005

November 2005

December 2005

January 2006

February 2006

March 2006

April 2006

May 2006

June 2006

July 2006

August 2006

September 2006

My Links.

-=| Alvin. |=-

-=| Amanda. |=-

-=| Blogger. |=-

-=| Brenda. |=-

-=| Chuan Ru. |=-

-=| Claudia. |=-

-=| Darren. |=-

-=| Desmond. |=-

-=| Eleanna. |=-

-=| Eugene. |=-

-=| Fatin. |=-

-=| Fiona. |=-

-=| Gabriel. |=-

-=| Hazwan. |=-

-=| Huang Zhi. |=-

-=| Jasmine. |=-

-=| Jessica. |=-

-=| Jiaxin. |=-

-=| Jieying. |=-

-=| Joni. |=-

-=| Joyee. |=-

-=| Kenneth. |=-

-=| Phyllis. |=-

-=| Rhoda. |=-

-=| Rosalind. |=-

-=| Saky. |=-

-=| Shahidatul. |=-

-=| Siti Adawiyah. |=-

-=| Steph. |=-

-=| Steven. |=-

-=| Wan Juan. |=-

-=| Weng Lum. |=-

-=| Xia Xue. |=-

-=| Yvonne. |=-

I Love You.

We never really noticed each other.
Or at least I never noticed you.
But now you are my fantasy.
My wonderful dream come true.

Your eyes met mine.
And mine met yours.
The story of Sleeping Beauty.
Riding on a horse.

Often I think of you.
And wonder if you think of me.
I just want to be there with you.
Through times of thick and thin.

Many a time I neglected you.
But you never seem to mind.
You're one in a million.
Once in a lifetime.

When you smile.
It's the greatest prize.
I'm in heaven.
I'm in paradise.

When I close my eyes.
I see your face.
The touch of your hands.
And the way you embrace.

If I'm in trouble.
All I need to do is call.
Cause I know you'll be there for me.
I know you'll catch me if I fall.

You shine like a lighthouse.
And you showed me the light.
And then I see that life.
Is not only black and white.

I believe in love.
The everlasting kind.
But true love and lust.
Are separated by a mere thin line.

I love you for who you are.
For everything you say.
And no matter what happens.
You will never be replaced.

So now you know my feelings for you.
Is not like eating jam and toast.
Our fairytale is full of love.
It's called Amor Infinitus.

|ll|ll|l||ll||ll|l|ll|
c0pyyrighttedd ; [-gabrielle-]

click here to go to my new blog skin!!

Saturday, April 01, 2006

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!

IS IT SO FUCKING DIFFCULT TO HAVE BACK MY BABY PHOTO?!

FUCK YOU.

WHO KNOWS WHEN YOU FUCKING DIDNT HAVE IT ANYMORE.

FUCK YOU.

I WANT IT BACK.

FUCK YOU.

I DONT CARE HOW. I WANT IT BACK!!

FUCK YOU.

I REMEMBERED TT U DIDNT HAVE YOUR NEGATIVE. I RETURNED YOURS BACK.

FUCK YOU.

I WANT MINE BACK!

FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU!!!

I HATE THE WAY YOU NEVER FAIL TO MAKE ME CRY!

FUCK.

I HATE THE WAY YOUR FUCKED UP EGO GOES AGAINST MINE!

FUCK.

SO THIS IS THE WAY YOU WANT IT HUH?!

FUCK.

FINE! LEAVE ME ALONE TO FUCKING CRY AND PIN FOR MY PHOTO.

FUCK.

YOU FUCKING DONT KNOW HOW MUCH IT MEANS TO ME.

FUCK.

GO AWAY.

FUCK FUCK FUCK.

tt's all i want. i expect nth more than that. it's nth to u but its everything to me. are you bent on making me depressed like any girl who breaks up with their bf? are you bent on seeing those tears? does it make you happy? i'm the evil female. so now you wana give it all back to me? by using that precious ting i entrusted you with? i'm not begging you. i will never. evil as i am, i will let it go. since you dont have it then fine, i shall accept it. in case you do find it, please return it to me like how i gave you back your key. believe it or not everything i did for you was from my heart. the things i did for you are truer then what i have done for any friend. my ego is huge, but i used to put it all down for you. it always seems like you have done more for me. i'll take it. you're always the one being bullied by me, being stepped all over by my childishness. fine, i took it all down. jessica said i was too hard on you, i was deemed as unreasonable and harsh. i took it down. i took all the blame when my parents fired at us. i was being called cheap by my mum. i was found to have pampered you so much. i almost fell out with my parents because of you. i took it all down. i never fail to wake up at 8am because you were coming even though i slept at 2am. i gave up fancy tops and short skirts because you didnt like it. i stopped drawing both eyeliner and mascara together because you said it was weird. i didnt perm my hair because i would look older. as much as i dont want to, i still hold on to your hand because i know you dont like it when people asks if i'm your sister. i smile when teachers ask me if i'm attached to you. i worry all day and night about my parents finding out. i lied to them saying i went out with friends to have a date with you. i took a bus home even though i was dead tired cuz i wanted to spend more time with you. you know i dont like kisses, but i gave in. i watched as you played bball and bought you water though you didnt want it. i baked a damn cake for you. i stopped going out with friends. i bitched with people who were disturbing you. i offended your pastor because you were pissed. i tried to behave infront of your parents and relatives. i kept my mouth shut with your aunt screamed at us. i kept every single damn thing you gave to me. including the already rotten roses. i never threw those damn things away. i still have all the paper hearts you folded for me. not one less. i have the bracelet, bears, your student diary, everything. remember the house you casually drew? i have that too. and this is the way it goes for me. you dont have my picture with you anymore. boy, you dont know how it cuts. it makes all physical pain, cuts, bruises, all painless. i know i threw many knives to your heart, but this, wow. i dont expect you to react, or even read this. but wow, that's a very fast change. thank you for cutting that last thin thread and isolating me from any more emotional feelings. thank you for reminding me i still have tears. everytime you get admitted to the hospital, i stop and think if its my fault. i always conclude that it is. silly, but i always do. i usually wont care, but i loved you. even until our last quarrel before you left. ego kills huh? i cant put it up anymore. i played this game of ego and lost. i really lost. so are you happy now? that you can finallie give me back all the knives i threw to you? yea, congratz on your last laugh.

i'm too tired to even bother to defend myself anymore. being a bitch is tiring. this blog has been a farcade of lies for far too long.

Permalink.

IDreamtOfYouAt.

3:10 AM

[-THE.love*--] flows from your heart