i miss the old days.
i was reminded of my childhood buddy, Bryan, while mum was yaking abt aunty Freda the other day. the good old days of hanging out at his house, pretending to take on different roles during the times when there were no adults ard.
i dont deny tt i used to have a slight crush on him though he's a year younger than me. i remember going over to his terrace every fridays during each holiday. i would bring my cabbage doll and some stuffed animals. we would play pretend.
when we got older, we would ride the bike to the playground and just go wild. at night, the maid would cook and aunty freda would nag me to eat more food and veggies. after that, we would run upstairs to his room n play summore until my parents came.
ahh, the happy-go-lucky childhood days. i dont know when he appeared in my life, but i will never forget the good times we had.
going back to the days when i was in RMPS, i remember a class buddy of mine. i dont know how to spell her name, but i tink its kairunisa. honestly, i was rather upset tt she didnt contact me when i moved to CNPS. well, people come and go i guess.
i also remember a haughty girl by the name of yasmine. i was in pri3 while she was pri2 if i remembered correctly. i didnt like her at all cuz she used to bully and order me around. i was really a softie during the younger days.my kindergarden bestie was yi lin. i guess her name is spelt that way. its been so long, i cant even remember properly. i really connected with her cuz she's not only my classmate, she's my neighbour. playing together with the squares near the ah-neh shop was really heaven.
spending 50cents to buy the "unbreakable" bubbles, buying paperballs at 10cents each and playing hula hoops there. it was really fun playing with good buddies. so good, all the nasty moments seem like hell when i grew up.
nursary days r a blur to me. i only remember one teacher from there. i dont know her name either. but she wore big specs and had a really sweet voice. she would shake her head when i placed biscuits on the table and brought me to the toilet.
any younger, i cant really remember.
there's this point of time in my life tt's blur, yet vivid to me. aunty lillian and her son, poh jin. i remember their domestic helper, yaya, very well. she cooks fantastic maggie mee. recalling the days when mum was a mighty film producer, i picture us poking crabs' eyes with a random satay stick.
we were so naive at that point, we didnt know it would kill the crab. when i found out, i stopped eating crabs until last year. i also remember going to a party organised by chen su zhen. the old ti ko would never fail to pick me up and babble.ass.
the most vivid incident was when mum filmed some advertisment with me in it. i was so tiny back then. if i remember correctly, its an aircon ad. i grew up without a dad, as many know. that day mum asked me to call uncle frankie(no,not PCK frankie) "daddy".
i was so delighted! i finally have a daddy. other kids in school have been teasing me and i was already feeling horrible. after the shoot, i continued calling him daddy. i thought it was for real. but just as we entered the big lift, mum snapped at me "stop calling him daddy. he's not ur dad."
i was so confused. but i noe why now. it was for a shoot. damn.
there're so many images that go through my head every now and then. if i ever see them, i just wana thank them for creating a beautiful childhood for me. without them, i wont have defeated my ugly pri4 days.
after moving to CNPS, tings took a great change. no one cared for me anymore. everyting was superficial. i hated the seniors who charged at me. if i ever see them today and still reconise them, they are gona pay for everyting.
ugly pasts r inevitable in everyone's life. but i grew from it. i'm the bitch i am today because of them. i learnt to fight at pri6 and was being counselled at sec3. but why? why am i such an evil bitch? blame me for not being strong enough to take setbacks? den blame urselves(u noe who u are) for setting them.
life took an ugly turn since then. no one is true anymore. found what i thought was love at sec4. but what happened? I ruined it. i'm the evil female. had a close fren during sec3 and sec4. gave it my all. but what happened? i'm the evil friend.
i changed, but so did everyone. i want back my old childhood days. i know i cant have them anymore. its a torture i'm gona have to carry my whole life. why are people bent on making things worse?
i never liked letting go of anyone close. but ever since i let go 2 recently, i feel lighter. so light, i flew to the skies and can never come back. so who has changed? me. i'm the evil person. i flew to high above, where i found new friends.
for the past week, my life has been joyce, amanda, fiona, poh hwee, yongda. and i'm happy with these ppl. weird to say, cuz besides joyce, i'm not familar with any of them. but anw, i gained more than i let go.
which is good. =D
anw, i dont know what was all that for. rubbish i guess. went to far east shopping center with joyce to get her typoid jab. apparently its very painful cuz she was like O_o after she came out of the doc's room. went to shaw center to take a look at the ting my mum juz joined.
yays, mum said she's gona change my whole makeup ting to the nicole miller ting. i dont know wad is it really, but she's a makeup artist in newyork. lols. tt's wad mum said. but as many noe, mum's next month is equal to next year. so yah, better dont expect too much.
walked around summore, ate, walked again and sent joyce off the work. met mum at clementi central and ate dinner there. oh, joyce is very narcissistic, just like me! we took alot of pics today and well, most contained her. but i wont post all, cuz how innovative can u get on a bus?
there are many more of where all those came from. its either we dont know how to take pictures, or we're just trying to be silly.and oh, i'm gona change my blogskin again soon! mayb during may! =)) i'm done with the picture, now i'm think of the layout. i hope it turns out nice. teeheehees.i'm tired. yawns.cwp with shin guang tmr!
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IDreamtOfYouAt.
11:46 PM
